How things have changed over the last few years. Success was measured differently by me 5 years ago, especially when compared to now. I used to measure success by qualifications, promotions, financial security, future plans coming to fruition. For me to feel Successful I used to need to see something or be successful on a large scale. Like a promotion at work, external recognition for a job well done, making a high level sports team. Now Success is managing to get Tyrant brushed, washed, dressed, fed, watered, dog walked, packed and ready to leave for school between the hours of 0630 – 0745 without a tantrum, from either her or me. And if I manage to make myself a cup of tea to take on the school run, it is the cherry on top of a Successful morning! Now success comes small scale with no recognition from anyone but me.
Is it age? Is it having a child? Is it having a missing space? Is it having felt failure? Is it all of it that makes me realise that success is everywhere, everyday? Now I see it, now I feel it everyday. I see the small things that mean I have been successful, not just in that I managed to get Tyrant ready for school and the dog walked without all of us or one of us having a melt down. It is even smaller, like Tyrant choosing to play chase with mummy and daddy rather than play in the park with her friends. It is me deciding to change my focus from my infertility to myself, my fitness and my health and seeing and feeling the benefits. The Success is me starting to feel positive and saying yes, not no, and recognising that as a Success!
There is no recognition externally from anyone for the small little Successes that I am having, only my own recognition that ‘Yeah! I’m doing it! I’m succeeding!’ Whatever the reason behind why I see my Successes differently, I am glad for the change. I am Successful, even if I do say so myself.