‘New normal’…

We have hit a ‘new normal’, we have had so many ‘new normals’ in our lives so far and the only commonality between them all is how we always eventually adapt to them, accept them and move forward. Now, I am honestly always impressed with how quickly the ‘abnormal’ becomes the ‘new normal’. I have learned, from previous experience, that resistance is futile, by not accepting the ‘abnormal’ and allowing it to become your ‘new normal’ the process is protracted, stressful, upsetting, traumatic and in the end the ‘new normal’ always wins, you just end up exhausted and or depressed. By ‘You’ I mean ‘I’, I end up exhausted and depressed. 

I have had a number of ‘new normal’ moments in my life, but the key life changing ones were; my father’s death, becoming a first time mother, becoming a mother to a stillborn child, and my current ‘new normal’. My current ‘new normal’ moment is: my high risk pregnancy that was going relatively ‘normal’ is now classed as high risk and ‘abnormal’. Our ‘new normal’ pregnancy is the ‘abnormal’ pregnancy that is basically being monitored for when is the safest and most necessary time to induce labour, which is likely to mean a premature delivery. Now, my ‘new normal’ means delivery no later than 36 weeks, if we can make it that far; BPP scans every 48 hours, unless something changes at a scan that puts baby at risk; no waiting for labour to start on its own, an induced labour or a c-section is the birth plan (if there was ever a birth plan, more like a dream one). 

In all of the previous ‘new normal’ moments, except this current one, I tried to battle, to fight against the change, in all, with varying lengths of time, I accepted the journey to, and ultimately the ‘new normal’. I have learned the quicker I accept the ‘new normal’ the less likely I am to succumb to the deep dark pit of depression. 

So, I am taking the lessons of my previous ‘new normal’ moments and applying it to my current one. I took the time to allow my emotions, feelings, brain, body to do what it needed to do to process the changes and accept the journey. It has, it was, and still is, overwhelming, emotional, upsetting and stressful. But, I am not searching for answers to questions that have no answers, I am not blaming myself for something that is out of my power and control, I am not trying to force the situation to be the way I want it to be, when it simply can’t. I am accepting that it is what it is, and there is nothing I can do but my best to accept, survive and hope. 

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