A funeral and an engagement all in one day. A complete family one day, a missing space family the next. Today Rock and I have been at the lowest point of the rollercoaster and the highest and all the twists in between. I never thought I would have to attend another funeral for a baby, I hoped that Cacia’s would be the last. It wasn’t. Going to a funeral for a child feels so wrong, so sad, so shit. There really aren’t words, it is overwhelming. I wish no parents had to bury their children, I wish the parents today still had their son, I wish we still had Cacia, I wish no parent had to look at their family and see and feel the missing spaces of where their children should be. This month our crappy child loss club gained another 2 unwilling members.
There are no words that can be said or written that can relieve these parents of their grief, no actions that can help with their painful loss. All we can do is stand with them and let them choose what they need from us as they find their way through the dark, one day at a time.
From one family with a missing space to another, just take it one day at a time, until one day you wake up and it isn’t so hard to do that day or the next. There is no time limit, no wrong or right way to feel, act, do. Just survive one day, and the next, and the next, until you’re no longer focussed on one day. Know you are not alone in the dark, there are others in the dark with you. Know that some days you feel ok and others you don’t, accept it and survive however you can. Know that this is the hardest journey you will embark on, one that unfortunately never ends. Know that one day you will learn to live with your missing space.
You already know that in one day everything can change. Everyday is precious, one day is all it takes.