Let me tell you something, I don’t know how other mums or primary caregivers do ‘it’, but I do ‘it’ with a little bit of help from my friends, more like a lot of help from my friends. These last few weeks have been a bit tough. Both children sick with fever etc… for over a week each, baby waking up every hour at night for comfort/feeding while barking out his cough for well over a month, me sick with the same fever for a week, me now enjoying the joy of gallstones (honestly did not know that was a thing, nor did I know exactly where my gallbladder was until it told me loudly and proudly that it was not happy).
In our house I am the primary caregiver to our children. Now, I like to believe that if my husband could help me when I am struggling he would, but unfortunately he does not have much (any) flexibility in his work to help out with practical parental or home care duties, so he is pretty much not an option on days where I can’t physically get to the school to take or pick up Tyrant, take me or our children to the doctor, amuse one child while I care for the other. This is where my friends step in and help me out! Between all of my friends they have taken Tyrant to school, gotten her home, taken her to the park or for a play date or even a sleepover, babysat both my children after being called in the middle night so that I could take myself to A&E (said gallbladder making itself known in the most painful manner it could while Rock was out of the country with work), bought me milk, bought me mince (so I could make dinner), held a crying Tiny Tyrant so that I could shower and feel vaguely human, walked my dog because I couldn’t for any number of reasons. Plus a whole load of listening and advising when I don’t know what to do about weaning, sleeping, virus or bacterial, early teenage attitude from a 5 year old, insert anything and everything and they have listened and advised. This is what my mummy friends and I do for each other.
Only another primary caregiving mummy/daddy knows what to offer to help make your life manageable when you need it. Only another primary parent knows how hard it is to mummy/daddy when something happens and your routine can’t happen. That’s when my mummy friends step in and make the offers needed to help me do better than just survive. I am thankful for my ‘mummy’ tribe, it is because of them that I manage to do ‘it’.
To all mummy’s and daddy’s out there that are the primary caregiver to your children, I hope you have your version of a ‘mummy’ tribe. That you have a group that you can bitch with, drink coffee and wine with, eat cake with, warm a park bench with while your children run around the park, that you can count on when the day/the week/the month isn’t going to plan. My mummy tribe is how I do ‘it’, how do You do ‘it’?